The trumpeter and his trumpet

You do not need the statement of a run-of-the-mill prophet or parapsychologist on this: Donald Trump will fly the flag of the Republican Party in the November 4 presidential election in the United States. He will face Hilary Rodham Clinton, former first lady, former US secretary of state and sitting member of the senate of the United States’ of America who will fly the Democratic Party flag. On November 5, newspapers will carry screaming headlines to tell the story of how Trump was trumped! It really does not matter how anyone feels about it.

Before then, it is okay for Mr. Trump to turn himself into one jolly good trumpeter. Blow on, man! After all, the man has enough dough to buy more trumpets than he will ever need. And, trumpets are meant to be blown, anyway. In a world where more people are busy buying and blowing their trumpets, Mr. Trump knows he is the appropriate person to blow his own trumpet. And boy, has he made a success of his new found vocation.

Mr. Trump has blown himself into contention. As it is, he is leading the pack in the race for the presidential ticket of the Republican Party. Of course, the Democrats will be happy with the trend and many of them will be praying, may be, even working for the eventual emergence of Trump, another ‘soft’ opponent. The other time, another ‘soft’ opponent, John McCain got caned in the process of re-writing American history when he literally made Barack Obama the first person of colour to be elected US president. The stage is set for Trump to give America its first female president.

Trump must be a great American patriot. Aside this, he is rich, talks tough and cares no hoot that smiling could be therapeutic. His dour nature, the lack of mirth in his smile whenever he chooses to flash one and his gung-ho outlook makes him the spokesperson of the endangered American extreme far-right! Sadly, the man has proved to be a poor student of history. Like McCain before him, Trump does not even know that his compatriots are increasingly turning their back to stiff necked politicians.

It is even more intriguing that Mr. Trump does not even seem to know that beyond the challenge of global terrorism, the world is getting safer and more Americans believe the world is capable of taking more steps away from the precipice. It is sheer modesty that made critics to classify Mr. Trump as an elephant in the room. He is worse than that: place Mr. Trump in the Oval Office and the world would be a heartbeat away from a major conflagration. The mere fact that the man aspires to the presidency of the United States of America has turned all of us into emergency prayer warriors.

And, this is for good reason. Being the American patriot that he is, Mr. Trump has vowed to restore what he calls America’s lost glory if he gets elected in November. To that effect, he will, within hours of being inaugurated, throw Muslims out of America, banish Muslims from entering the United States of America and throw out African immigrants especially those from Nigeria because they have taken over jobs meant for Americans. For all Mr. Trump cares, it makes no difference that the African immigrants he accuses of taking jobs meant for Americans are products of the normally-high American spirit of competitiveness.

Of course, Mr. Trump will promote a hawkish foreign policy. For instance, Trump believes the two-state solution to resolve the Arab-Israeli crisis, a major fuel that drives global terrorism, has to be reviewed since it does not guarantee the safety of Israel. If he feels Palestinians are unformed people, as Senator McCain once suggested, Mr. Trump was modest not to voice it.

Mr. Trump has also served notice that he will put Iran where it rightly belongs. To do this, the Iran nuclear deal will be fed to the shredding machine because it treated Iran as an ally, instead of an implacable adversary, of the United States of America. Mr. Trump has also sent clear signals to the Russians and Iranians and their allies to the effect that their funny game of propping the shaky government of Syrian president, Bashir al-Assad, will come to grief if he wins the election. And, the man is dead serious.

As a mark of his seriousness, Mr. Trump has continued to talk tough and act tough. He believes, like many Americans, that so many things are wrong with America. Problem is, his idea of kicking every ass as a way of forcing America and the world to subscribe to his ideal America does not appear to sit with most of his compatriots. Even as a candidate, Mr. Trump does not shy away from wielding the big stick. If he is not calling the bluff of presidential debate organisers, Mr. Trump is busy throwing out demonstrators from his campaigns or sullying handicapped questioners at campaign venues.

There is the temptation to dismiss Mr. Trump as a disgruntled, bigmouthed American who has seized the opportunity of the campaigns to vent his bottled-up anger. Otherwise, no serious politician in today’s supposedly civilised and liberal America will glamourize hate speech and display unrestrained love for impunity. Aside the famed American system that has a way of fencing controversial individuals from the White House, it is about time psychiatry tests became a major requirement for the US presidency.

There is nothing to suggest that Mr. Trump is nutty. Just a controversial trumpeter, may be. Fear is, his courage thus far heightens the prospect of a loaded escapee from a nuthouse getting to talk and, may be, buy his way to the White House.

* Abdulazaq Magaji is based in Abuja, Nigeria, and can be reached at

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