African lesbian makes US history
Following the marriage of two lesbians of African descent in New York earlier this year, Nick Mwaluko asks whether their historic act will help change perceptions towards same-sex relationships in Africa, not just in the US.
Fire burns, true, but fire also purifies. Count my words as fire, burning embers that purify an unspeakable truth spoken at last.
Two lesbians of African descent abandon fear for risk, decide to marry against odds that include social taboo, making US history as a result. But did their struggle for equality pay off? By which I mean, are Kelebohile Nkhereanye and Renee Boyd any more equal to those who matter most? By which I mean, is this strikingly beautiful married lesbian couple of African descent celebrated in Africa by family, tribe, church, government, and continent? Or – and this is a no brainer– do they have the same status as lesbians who never married or made history, women with the very strong sexual stirrings for other women who face death by virtue of being African lesbians? Which means Kelebohile Nkhereanye and Renee Boyd can and have made US history, but in Africa, from the Cape to Cairo, they can’t exist and when they do, they can be murdered so history is unmade.
What I’m asking is simply this: What does equality look like when you don’t matter to those who matter most to you? It looks like love. And what does love look like when you’re accepted, not tolerated by those you hold dearest?
Love looks nothing like US history. It looks like your wedding is celebrated, which means you are affirmed, which means you need not hide, which means you are not invisible, which means you are visible, which means you can be protected, which means your government can’t kill you because of the law, which means you are safe, which means you’re free to walk the streets, which means you can look for work, which means you can be a productive citizen in your beloved country, which means you could be promoted, honored, respected, which means you’re less judged, which means you have a voice, which means you’re not silenced, which means you can be heard, which means you have value, which means you are human.
Celebrated, affirmed, visible, unhidden, protected, safe, free, productive, promoted, honored, respected, less judged, unassuming, not silenced but vocal, heard, valued human being. This is love. This is not who homosexuals, gay, lesbian, transgendered, queer folk are, not in Africa. If it were, if homosexuals were loved, those closest to African homosexuals – their mother, father, church, tribe, beloved – would not stand silent or idle or abandon them when they are murdered, raped, have HIV AIDS.
So it seems that while Kelebohile Nkhereanye and Renee Boyd made US history, what they really wanted wasn’t the weight of US law in their lives or marriage but the love of those who look at them without seeing who they truly are. Isn’t that at the core of any struggle for equality? Not US history?
My question is simple: Should we continue to see the law while blinding ourselves to the love our gay, lesbian, transgender children hunger for? African mothers, fathers tribe, church, government, beloved – I am asking you.
BROUGHT TO YOU BY PAMBAZUKA NEWS
* © Nick Mwaluko, 2011
* Please send comments to editor[at]pambazuka[dot]org or comment online at Pambazuka News.