there are too many battles
and too many wounds
and I
I can't take it
I don't - want - to know

that Flora Tera
was force-fed feces
mixed with hair
torn from her head
only metres away
from her own home
in Meru
to stop her
running for office

I want to cover my ears and scream
to block out the voices that chant

that Piah Njoki had her eyes
gouged out by her husband
because she did not bear him
Your browser may not support display of this image.a son

I want to be free of the murder
that pounds in my brain

because Ann Njogu was beaten
kicked, dragged
down a flight of stairs
by the police
for daring to exercise
her constitutional right
to free speech

I want to pretend it won't happen to me

did you know that a woman is raped
every thirty minutes
every
thirty
minutes
in Kenya?

I am not a part of this bleeding
this scream
I don't want to challenge argue fight
construct confront negotiate
beg for change

do you hear me??

I want to retreat
to a room filled with
humans
shut out the night
the fear and the pain
hear myself stop
screaming inside

unravel my breathing ask
in a very
low
voice

dare I
claim the right Your browser may not support display of this image.
to a voice
that does not
scream?

Copyright Shailja Patel 2007.
*This poem was initially published in the WAJIBU JOURNAL Volume 22. No 4 (November - December 2007)